1. Those who have died are not dead. Those who have died have gone to God to begin the life that they were made for. They are more alive than we are.
2. If you have something to say, say it . Those who have died have gone to God. They share His point of view. They know what is happening here on earth.
3. The presence of our loved ones in God can color our experience of God. Look for it. If you see it, you become more sure that your loved ones are safe. God becomes more familiar.
4. We will see them again. When we die. Furthermore, we will not just "see" them, we will be closer to them than we ever were on earth. Since all of us will have been transformed, we will love better. And we will never be parted again.
5. The death of a loved one is yet another reason to let go. Of life here. After all, now we know that life here will never be all we always hoped for. Now we know our hope is heaven. And the less attached we are to life here, the freer we feel.
6. Grief is good. Not the lack of faith, grief is a most natural reaction to loss. Loss, however temporary, hurts. Like the yell that vents the pain of a broken bone, grief is that internal yell that vents the pain of loss.
7. Getting over it takes time. To fill the space left by a human being, possibly a life companion, takes time. Once reality without the other person sets in, it really hurts. Thereafter, there will be many ups and downs. We should not expect to see the end of the tunnel for a year and a day.
8. Getting over it isn't bad. Some people resist getting over grief because they feel that to do so is to betray the person who is gone. On the contrary, getting over it comes with the end of shock, the rebuilding of routine, and the gain of faith. When finally we are reunited, we will find that no love was lost. (Isn't this what we find whenever friends are reunited?)
And we will be reunited. We will.